Double Dutch

OU goes well. Quite well actually. Got an excellent mark on the last assignment (stunned, shocked, amazed) and so far it's all rather enjoyable, if not easy, then at least logical and full of all those lovely a-ha moments. Which is rather surprising as m'fellow students are of the opinion that this particular module is a bit of a dog. (Mind, I suffered through the compressed archaeology course so after that, anything is light relief...) ;-)

The essays do tend to take up a considerable amount of brainage, however. This month it's all about the European Reformation. (Something I have so far managed to avoid knowing anything about!) And now I totally get all those Spanish Inquisition jokes! And Iconoclasm. And Calvinism. And William of Orange! (And the Grand old Duke of York - but that was last month's bit of the course! Yes, I might have sung a bit when I realised the connection there... History is so cool!)

Have also discovered that I prefer the historian side of things to the archaeologist side of things. (Possibly the aforementioned archaeology course is a bit to blame for that too!) Possibly it's also got to do with the fact that analysing pot sherds and corn husk impressions and wotnot makes me snooze off but give me some juicy text on what people have been doing and I'm so there! Scandals! Shenanigans! Revolutions getting mucked up due to hard-line militancy and lack of funding! But mainly, I think, it's discovering all the connections between everything. Connections and getting to put into context all those vague people and events that get lodged in the brain through other means.

Did I mention History is cool? ;-P

Fictional Archaeology

I am, it must be said, something of a fan of fictional archaeology. In real life there’s oodles of paperwork, funding issues, and a metric ton of research that needs doing before you even contemplate going anywhere (and even then you risk being pipped to the post by some random metal detectorist having a lucky day); and once you get to your site, you then have to spend months, years, even decades carefully sifting though every minute particle in order to maintain a proper archaeological record of everything. Which is a good thing. Really.

Fictional archaeologists, however, have it much easier.

They often come from a family of archaeologists or similarly talented historians, linguists or adventurers – thus giving them a step up when it comes to knowledge, experience and contacts in the field. Little Lara Croft and Indiana Jones went out in the field with their parents, little Evelyn Carnahan had a childhood steeped in all things Egyptian (and a dad who was on the King Tut tomb expedition), little Nina Wilde, Ben Gates and Daniel Jackson were heavily influenced by their parents occupations.

While real life archaeologists have to have basic knowledge of assorted disciplines, it’s the fictional archaeologist who really takes this to extremes. There’s the acceptable archaeological skills – history, languages and assorted archaeological and scientific techniques, but your fictional archaeologist will be an expert in multiple disciplines: their in-depth knowledge of history covers all periods and includes knowledge of some of the most obscure things in existence, they know how to use and have access to all the latest gadgets to make finding and analysis quicker and easier, and languages? Well, you can guarantee that your fictional archaeologist is going to be a world-class expert in at least one long-forgotten barely-translated dead language and is also fluent in at least a dozen or so other more used ones.

But, fictional archaeologists also have pretty impressive skills in other fields and often have second jobs as international spies or similar. They will have picked up a wide range of combat related skills, extreme sports, computer skills that are just a bit scary; and the fictional archaeologist always has useful friends if they need emergency transport to some out of the way location or a favour pulled in high places.

When it comes to funding, they usually don’t need to worry about grants (unless it’s plot specific) – if they’re not independently wealthy, they get commissioned for their expedition by some wealthy benefactor or government organisation (often mysterious, probably wants to take over the world), or they have the ill-gotten gains of their last big haul to draw on.

They will always be the one to make an amazing breakthrough when it comes to finding the long lost site or artefact of legend. Doesn’t matter how many people have spent their life looking for the aforementioned objects of desire, it’s the fictional archaeologist who’ll get the essential last clue, or put the random pieces together, or just accidentally stumble on it while getting their morning cup of coffee.

They always find what they’re looking for, and it’s always in near-perfect condition. If aboveground, a lost city will have plenty of remaining standing buildings and a secret room somewhere that’s ceiling high in shinies. If underground, the entire complex will be intact with all devices still working hundreds of years past installation (we’d like their builder’s number.) Yes, there will be a few booby traps lying around (there’s always at least one), but your fictional archaeologist will, quite luckily, be the only one who can navigate them safely.

Any guardians, either living or undead, who might have issues with an expedition trundling in and nicking off with their heritage will cease to be a problem once the fictional archaeologist gets talking to them, as, guess what? Turns out your archaeologist is also destined by ancient prophecies (or that handy memento found at another site and worn for luck) to be the saviour of the ancient people/the world/all existence. If this doesn’t work, however, the fictional archaeologist will be the one who can out fight, out think and generally out manoeuvre the protectors who have trained for centuries to do their job.

Some fictional archaeologists work in partnership with museums and other organisations interested in preserving an accurate site or artefact record, but if a site happens to get accidentally totalled in the midst of an expedition, no one is going to make too much noise – especially if the archaeologist comes back with something impressively shiny. After all, it won’t have been the archaeologist’s fault, there’ll have been a crew of naughty tomb raiders, bandits or minions from a secret organisation set on world domination involved somewhere.

And bullet holes in things just add to the mystique. ;-)


(1) Tombraider pic from totalfilm.com
(2) Daniel Jackson pic from danieljackson.ashtonpress.net
(3) Mummy pic from from news.bbc.co.uk
(4) Indiana Jones pic from rottentomatoes.com

Apocalyptic Week!

This week on Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse, I've posted five (yes, five!) thingybobs:
For Movie Week there's very short word-burps on 28 Days/Weeks Later and Stonehenge Apocalypse (because, really, SA is such delightful bobbins it has to be mentioned!)
In the Know Your Idols category, I've wittered on about Major Eden Sinclair (of Doomsday fame) and Martha Jones and then there's the next one in the Getting Around series - By Water.

But don't just go for me, the fab Apocalypse Girl collective have posted on a wide variety of movies for our Movie Week, and also new this week are more music and clothes for the apocalypse, useful survival skills, defense against zombies from a proper martial artist, kick-ass mothers, weaving your own rug when resources are low, and, ooh, lots of loveliness!

And we're now on twitter - @ApocalypseGirls - who knew the apocalpse could be so much fun!

Apocalyptic Fun

So today, spud, I'm on the very awesome Girls' Guide to the Apocalypse blog (go check it out!) talking about how to get around in your post-apocalyptic environment by the cunning use of air travel. (Road, sea and space to follow in later posts!)

If you haven't already discovered the Guide, then you've missed out on a variety of funky tips such as picking your team and knowing your idols, how to pack, what to grow when the world settles down, home defence, what to wear, what to listen to, knowing your enemy, handy crafts... and, ooh, loads more!

Check it out now!

Fantasycon 2011

Just a little late doing this, but then, all things BFS have been a mite distracting lately...

So, forgetting the furore that has spread around the internetz and back again, how was that there Fcon? Darlings, it was awesome. Totally, absolutely, best Fcon yet. Despite the heatwave. And how weird is that, a Fantasycon in sunny weather? It shouldn't be allowed, really. Fcon is all about the freezing cold and fog drenched landscapes. (And that's just the hotel bedrooms!) ;-)

It was also the highest attended Fcon in recorded history, with somewhere between 530 - 560 people bravely trying to find their way through the maze that was the Royal Albion's lower reaches. But despite the mass amount of people stuffed into rooms with no air-con, there was an amazing vibe to the whole weekend. (And I got to be an official Red-Shirt this year! Woohoo! Red-Shirts Rock!)

Didn't actually get to see much, what with the Registration Desk duties but what I did see was worth it. The previously posted about Louise Morgan reading was fab (Blood and Feathers, buy the book next year!) - and Lou has a talent for performance that made it a fun reading. The Jo Fletcher Books launch was jam packed - wall to wall people, so not for the claustrophobic. (And Fcon attendees got all sorts of JFB free goodies. Swag, darlings, swag!)

Was dead on my feet early Saturday night so didn't make it to the disco - apparently it was a good one. Also apparently, the blackmail pictures are circling...

Here's hoping next year is just as good.

Fcon countdown!

Exxxxxxxxcellent, Smithers! The Fantasycon programme grid is now up on the website here! Gosh, is that packed or what! Is it me, or are there more parties and readings than ever before? And a disco! And burlesque! And masterclasses!
(And I'm on registration during the Friday & Saturday daytime hours so I'll just gaze wistfully as you all wander past to heckle the panels!)

Friday night, though, peeps of unerring good taste must wander over to Louise Morgan's reading (and make a note to get her book Blood and Feathers when it comes out from Solaris next year - because it is teh awesome!)

Alice in Zombieland

So over on Floor to Ceiling Books is my rambling post on the awesomeness that is Alice from the Resident Evil movies. Go see! ;-P

Resident Evil Rewatch

So, very recently I opened wide my gob and promised the fabulous Amanda Rutter of Floor to Ceiling Books a guest blog post on Alice from Resident Evil. (Which will be online tomorrow. Oo-er!) Now the Resident Evil films may have their flaws but I unashamedly love them anyway – and of all the films in the series, the first one remains my favourite. The Alice/Rain double act is a joy to behold, the visuals are glorious and it's extremely quotable.

But good lord, is it a tease with the set up. I was watching it for the seventy squillionth time the other day and after the verrrrry slow sequence of dude in the haz-mat suit playing with twisty test tubes (and what is it with the twisty test tubes? How is that a sensible design feature?) realised it's thirty seven minutes until you get some actual zombie action! (But then I have the patience of someone with not very much patience so those thirty seven minutes were looooong ones.)

My brain went a little something like this:

00:03:55 - Uh oh, it’s fire drill time. Counting down to total carnage…

00:05:40 – Aaaaand this is why the lifts in convention hotels make me nervous.

00:06:25 – Woah, wait, how is this is the first time I’ve noticed how very identical the suits are that the office drones are wearing. Say bye bye, office drones.

00:07:30 – Nooooooo, silly woman, don’t try and squeeze out of the lift! And, seriously, how on earth do you think you’re getting through that teeny tiny hole anyway? Behave.

00:08:09 – Splat! I'm so not going near the Fcon lifts.

00:08:12 - Enter Leeloo Multipass! In the obligatory nekkid Milla shot.

00:10:30 – Don’t mess with the Milla, she keeps guns in her undie drawer.

00:11:35 - Eeep. There is a Weeping Angel under that there plastic. Do not blink!

00:12:55 - Finally, some excitement! SWAT is in da house!

00:14:40 – Yay, it’s the train from the games! Have to say, one of the things I do love about this film (and something that wasn’t quite followed up so much in the later films) is all the video game elements. The computer vision and map segments are particularly good touches, and the disappearing bodies, while possibly a smidge illogical in places, are a great nod to the magically disappearing corpses in the games.

00:19:30 – Infodump time! With handy computer graphics. Everything is fake and classified, just so you know.

00:22:18 - Okay, that whole underground aboveground office view with bonus traffic noise thing is just disturbing.

00:24:16 – Mermaid! Undead mermaid! Undead mermaid in a lab coat!

(1)

00:29:35 - Uh oh, the Corridor of Doom! Do not enter the Corridor of Doom. No matter how shiny it looks. And especially do not enter it when you’ve just said how you’re going to fry the crazy AI at the other end of it.

00:32:00 - Colin Salmon is such a badass. (Alas, he is now a cubed badass.)



00:35:15 - ‘You’re all going to die down here.’ Love that line!

Plot hole, though. So, there you are, able to actually ask the crazy AI why she killed off a whole facility full of people and at this point, not one person asks the question? Or attempts to get any information about the incident out of her at all? Hello? Anyone? (Also, calling the Red Queen a crazy AI does, technically, do her a bit of a disservice as the whole facility lock down thing was perfectly logical given the insane communicability of the T-virus. Though she can totally put the crazy pants back on later when she unleashes the Licker…)

00:37:35 - Fiiiiiiinally, some zombie action!


00:38:45 ‘We found a survivor.’ ‘And you shot him?’ Hah!

00:40:00 - Bring on the zombie hoards!

00:46:55 - And this is why I hate dogs - I remain secretly convinced that behind every fluffy puppy is one of these waiting to rip your throat out. Now if I could just learn to do that very awesome running up a wall kick move…



00:56:00 – Annnnnnd, finally they start asking the very sensible questions…

00:59:50 - Alice kicks ass, as only Alice can.

01:02:00 – Pipe walking over the zombie hoards. See, this? Is exactly what you need during a zombie apocalypse. Stay above them! (Unless there's a Licker nearby, then you're screwed.)

01:06:18 – ‘When I get out of here, I think I’m gonna get laid.’ ‘Yeah. You might wanna clean up a little bit first.’ Hah!

01:10:30 – And this is why you never put your gun down on random tables…

01:12:01 – And this is why you shouldn’t indulge in evil overlord monologues…

01:14:12 – The Red Queen’s been a bad, bad girl. And has now got her crazy pants well and truly on. (And, incidentally, is it me or does Spence look just a little too professional at the shooting up thing. Umbrella are really not doing their background checks are they?)



01:18:18 - And is there any logical reason why you would have a bunch of random metal poles just hanging from the middle of your cargo train? Really? (Apart from the obvious monster killing usage?)

01:20:54 – ‘I’m not dead yet.’ (Alas, poor Rain, don't speak too soon...)

01:25:34 – They’re coming to take you away… (eeew, tentacle arm!)

01:28:24 - Luckily being head of security for the Hive means knowing how to disable the very expensive high tech locks with only a medical needle thingy. (While wearing only two bits of strategically placed paper held together with string.)

01:29:15 – And yet, somehow, that very empty hospital hallway is even creepier than if it had been filled with bodies…

01:29:43 - Okay, I do get the sly reference, but seriously though, when, during their zombie apocalypse, did they have time to put out a newspaper detailing it? Would they not have been a bit busy with the whole screaming in terror and eating of brainzzzzz?

Ah logic, we knew you not. Never mind, in the next one there's more ass-kicking, the legendary (oh yes it is) motorbike scene and the delectable Oded Fehr...


(1) Pic from http://www.cinemorgue.com/annabolt.html

Academic Jollies

So, it being September (it's September! So soon!) means that the next batch of OU courses are kicking in. Woohoo! Was initially a little worried about being able to do stuff, what with the insane price rises due to bastard!government!practices! but, luckily, the OU is keeping prices stable for peeps already in the midst of studying degrees. (Newbies, however, are totally buggered. Unless they happen to have a won a lottery or two.)

Anyhoo, this still-friendly pricing means I can happily continue on with the next course in the History BA - Exploring History: Medieval to Modern. Not my favourite era as I'm more an ancient history kinda gal, but on the plus side, shiny new information! (And a scary exam in June! Arrrgh! Must refine my (lack of) revision skills!)

Plus, just for fun, there's the short science courses. Given that I hated science at school this is probably a slightly twisted definition of fun. (Also I'd quite like to write some decent SF one day so a basic understanding of that there science thing might be helpful...)

So, right now I'm doing a shortie Human Nutrition course (and getting a crash course in the chemical composition of stuff) which is actually quite fascinating and fodder for dropping all kinds of 'and did you know' into random conversations with the parentals. (They did not, in fact, know, and are also quite fascinated. Which is nice.)

Then once the scary history exam is done and my brain's clear from nasty revision stuff, there's a couple of environmental science shorties I can squeeze in for doing over the summer break. I say couple, but actually there's four I've got my eye on but what gets done will depend on finances at the time.

Then come next September it's the Empire history course with a couple more shortie science courses and possibly the shortie Welsh history course fitted around it. Then 2013... (yes, I have planned that far ahead. That I've got a spreadsheet going to do so will surprise no-one I know.) ... 2013 will be From Enlightenment to Romanticism, with more shortie science things. Then after that, all I need to finish the degree will be Myth in the Greek & Roman worlds and Exploring the Classical World. (More scary exams! Double argh!)

Fun times!

Shiny Shorts: The Thief of Precious Things

The Thief of Precious Things by A.C. Wise

"The world has been still too long, crows above, foxes below, and men somewhere in between."

There is a glass tower in the city, a place where the humans congregate and work on secret things, but fox-girls have a habit of getting into secret things - especially when there's Crow Lords to get the better of.

There is a fox-girl who dared what her sisters wouldn't and had her name stolen from her. She breached the tower but those memories, too, have escaped her and now what she found and what she stole is wanted by humans and Crow Lords alike.

There are a man and a woman whose goodwill and need for peace get them tangled up in trickster games, and when you play with tricksters, change is inevitable.

I'll confess, I have a thing for trickster tales and this one is a rather glorious example. It's about freedom and becoming something else and shaking the world up when its gotten stuck in a rut. This latter can be seen particularly by the division between the two trickster races - the brotherhood of Crow Lords get authority (and capitalisation) while the sisterhood of fox-girls have submission as one of their recognisable natural attributes; a display of extremes that illustrates the need for something a little more balanced if things are to move forward.

Our fox-girl protag makes for a heroine who is both charming and daring, as she gets herself into trouble then finangles her way out of it and the changes wrought in her wake promise interesting times ahead. While the Crow Lords are identikit ciphers, the human support, Yuki and Ani, have character enough to make you care about their divergent needs and fates.

Thief is set in a post-apocalyptic world but it has the kind of enchanting storytelling that can be found in the best Charles de Lint. Definitely a world to which the author should return to as I'd love to read more stories set here. All in all, a fantastic tale.


Found in Bewere the Night, ed. Ekaterina Sedia
Published in April 2011 by Prime books, $14.95 (or thereabouts) from assorted retailers.
More about A.C. Wise here.